Self-protective Emotional constriction [emotional shut-down] of the heart from fear or guilt, often arising from accumulated subconscious self-resentment (destructive belief or judgement about the self).
The origin of this self-injury often lies in infancy experience where adults harshly criticised the child.
The underlying "mind-talk" (internal mental dialogue) can be brought into consciousness by cognitive therapeutic or shamanic healing technique.
Cold-hearted heart - emotionally wounded AF Aching heart - painful wounded feeling

Heartache: Grieving to Resolve Grief
 
a continuation of the poem which began here

 AF

 

 

 

 
 AF

 

 

 

 AF

 

 

 

 
 AF

    So now I take the space
    To meet you face to face
    You're sticky, black and cold
    Thick and heavy to hold
     
    You gum up all my works
    Even my little quirks
    and foibles are suppressed
    My endeavours are not blessed
    Your hold is paralysing
    Your power - quite surprising
    I feel so very helpless
    to tidy up your blackness
     
    I dont know where to start
    Except to feel you in my heart
    To breathe and dare to suffer
    Which of us is tougher?
     
    And as I lie here with you
    I start to get the first clue...
     
    You begin to boil and bubble
    Oh Dear! Does this mean trouble?
    Will you overwhelm?
    Will I lose the helm?
     
    For I have no real defence
    My bravado is pretence
    But now your image is changing
    Tarry river re-arranging
    To a stream, crystal clear
    There's nothing here to fear
    And inexplicably I know
    Like melting of the snow
    Just what your blackness meant...
    A tarry river of resent
    Nasty little believes
    Stole my mind like thieves!
    Beliefs that I am bad,
    selfish, cruel and mad!
    But now in conscious mind
    The truth can unwind
    Self-judgements, harsh & heartless...
    Just need a little forgiveness!

© 1990 Michael J. Meredith

Warning:  When your heart is under strain it is advisable to have a medical check-up
plus ask about the advisability of taking a mild anti-thrombosis drug such as aspirin, as a precautionary measure against coronary thrombosis if you are in an at-risk category.

 

*Heartbreaks: Healing     *Grief & Grieving: Overview     *Emotional Energy Blocks: Self-Awareness Training

 

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